Five Months On

It is five months since my dearest friend and a supporter of  TGism passed on. Those months are described in a more personal blog. This blog is a new chapter.

A little background: most of my life was spent in one relationship. I have known Pauline since schooldays. She was aware of my TGism and tried to accept it, but was unable; she had her own problems associated with hoarding, which I tried to accept, but likewise was unable. After I started going to Barbara's dressing service, I could not deny my TGism and, simultaneously, P's problems started becoming unmanageable . We were very fortunate in having two properties and 'simply' separated, but remained in close contact and supported each other at family events. My fondness for Barbara developed as she helped Nikki flourish. However, as that was happening, Barbara started having serious health issues, resulting in numerous laparotomies and an ileostomy. Her husband had no interest in her and I took on a caring and support role for her and our love for each other grew. Her husband did not care, as long as he did not have to look after her. Finally, her husband's attitude wore her down so much that she left him and with the great help of Age UK she finally settled in sheltered accommodation. For the first time since she was 16 she was living her own life. She loved her little flat, but it also became a prison as her health deteriorated still further, both physically and mentally. Everyone who met her was amazed at her tenacious love of life, but finally on 28 June 2017 she passed away. All the time we were together, P was aware of our closeness and she became increasingly supportive of me as Barbara's health declined. Although they never met, Barbara was also concerned about P's well-being. In Spring 2017, P developed a tremor in her left hand. The tremor became increasingly pronounced and P started exhibiting the symptoms of Parkinson's disease.

Following Barbara's death I took up water colour painting and threw myself back into the garden. I also took up dressing in earnest, something that had started to slip as Barbara's needs had become ever more frequent.These were all positive and P also suggested that I take up Greek evening class again, and if I were to do so she could probably join me for free (as someone who teaches Adult Ed, herself). That seemed to be another good diversion for me, so I agreed. By the time of the first class, P's condition was quite obvious and she was starting to have difficulty walking. A referral to a consultant neurologist was arranged and after some visits to her GP, he has prescribed Sinemet. We wait now until the January consultation.

Clearly, if P has the disease, which seems likely (her mother suffered from it), it will be life-changing for her and, by default, for me. I will not countenance the idea of not being there to support her. In that light, I took a first step yesterday. In May I visit Ireland. I have a cottage booked which can sleep up to four. Afterwards I plan to visit my friend Pamela. It is entirely feasible for me to take P by car over to Ireland and then, en route to Pamela's, to take her to Knock airport where she can get a flight back to Gatwick and home. We discussed it yesterday and were agreed that she must take whatever opportunity arises for her to enjoy the time she has. Que sera sera.

Anyway, that is an introduction, to set the scene for my new life as a stay-at-home Tgirl (for now, anyway).