I'm no politician and I know enough about history to know it repeats itself. It is curious that in days around this year's Holocaust Memorial Day we have things happening in the 'Land of the Free' that resonate, however slightly, with 1930's fascism.
My mother taught me 'This Land Is Your Land' when I was young. It is a considered song, probably written over some time. In today's world, time is as precious as gold, so as rough as it is, here's a ballad for today.
Today, a friend took me to my eye surgery – the second cataract operation, except that these operations are far more. I’m 77 and have been wearing spectacles since I was 8 … some may remember those round specs (Harry Potter style) with bendable wire earpieces … but since my first op back in November, I’ve been without glasses. It’s been tricky at times as the difference between my fixed and unfixed eyes was considerable, but I managed to drive and read etc. Today, the world changed as the second eye was done – no near vision anymore! In about 5 weeks I’ll be seeing my optician to get what I need for the next few years.
If it wasn’t for Amazon and cheap reading glasses I couldn’t write this. I have to take one of two types of eye drops, but without those glasses I wouldn’t be able to tell which from which! Nobody tells you about that.
But that’s not really the story. This is just another event in a backdrop of change, the relatively recent loss of my life partner, the earlier loss of another love, living alone, getter really old and negotiating this newer, if temporary, vision.
And then it was to find something to watch on TV. Almost by chance I came across ‘The Zone of Interest’ a film I found absorbing, having lived for eight years in Germany, but that’s yet another story. What jumped out was a mention of ‘Lebensraum’ and its immediate connection in my head to what I had recently heard of on Radio 3 about America’s ‘Manifest Destiny’ and the Monroe Doctrine. But I leave consideration of current evidence of political psychopathy to others.
Turning to the here and now, I switched to playing youtube while I loaded the dishwasher … Voices of Music’s version of Uccellini’s La Bergamasca always brightens my mood, but it is short and what followed, uncalled for, were reminiscences of those past losses – John Tams ‘Will I See Thee More’, Grieg’s ‘Wedding Day at Trollhaugen’ and finally Kate Wolf’s ‘An Unfinished Life’. Curiously, I found youtube’s selection was quite calming and cathartic; these are pieces of the never-ending closure of a chapter in my life. Long may they remain and keep me grounded in the love I have been granted in life. Then it was onto Max Richter’s ‘On The Nature of Daylight, Extended’ which is a good bookend to that chapter.
Frantic work since I returned from Ireland is at an end and I know I can rest at home for a few days and tomorrow will be the day that I know whether the second op has worked as I hope it has. I do have some things that I might write about, partly triggered by another programme I watched - The Secret Of Me – but for now I’ll bookend this ramble. This morning started with Radio 3 and the Adagietto from Mahler’s 5th. I’ll finish now with Mahler’s: Ich bin der Welt abhanden gekommen from the Rückert Lieder, which I always used to listen to as I drifted off to sleep many, many years ago.
Just in case the above comes over as a bit self-indulgent, I haven't forgotten it's Burns Night tonight. So, here's Ae Fond Kiss to anyone reading this.
Busy, Busy, Busy …
To be honest, I can’t quite remember what I’ve been up to and when, mainly as I haven’t had to time to sit down and think about it! I did spend nearly 3 weeks with my great friends Pamela and Mary over Christmas and the New Year in Ireland and I somehow got back here early evening of the 9th January. An update on that trip will emerge in good time, but even in Ireland I was in touch with kitchen fitters who having been due to start at Pauline’s flat on the 19th wanted to change that to the 12th! So, back in time to use stuff in the freezer (hoping the power had only been off because of Storm Goretti … but I’m alive to tell the tale, so I guess I was right!) and the washing machine. Then I had to meet relatives at the flat who will be using it once the kitchen is renewed. Back home for more washing and a little fresh food before Tuesday and onto a new venue-based art course. At home, it was rain, rain, rain and my only usable house door started sticking badly… groan, I have my second cataract op coming up and I’m not then meant to be doing anything forceful, so once the rain stopped (today!!!) I managed to sort it out. I could go on, but it’s quite boring – ordering food for after my op, choosing kitchen white goods and bathroom tiles for the flat and me getting generally fed up with having one eye with superb long distance bluish vision (but rubbish within 4 ft) and the other having a yellowish tint and nothing worth trying to look at beyond 4 ft. It does get very tiring. And wondering if that squirrel is building a drey right above my walnut tree ... Come Saturday that should all change ... to a week of night-time eye patching and a month of steroid eye drops!
In the meanwhile, I have been able to get a new skirt – black cotton midi, and two tops. I do also have a trouser suit, but the jacket has to go back as while the detachable label said one thing, the attached label said another (by a difference of 10 sizes!!!) But, notwithstanding those buys, the appearance of Nikki will probably remain on hold until my eyes start working together … it could be a week, it could be a month, it could be until I’ve got back to my opticians in about 8 weeks and have new glasses.
I’m looking forward to March when the flat shouldn’t be a worry for me and my eyes will be good for a few years.
Now to try and remember Ireland!
