June - December 2019 So Much Has Changed, So Much Stays the Same

I am writing this in April 2020 in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic, trying to catch up on lost blogtime! I restrict myself to an hour a day as I try to spend at least two hours working in the garden. Today has been the first significant rain for a month and I also need to get my small room ready for zoom art on Thursday.

Back to June 2019, but first a slight catch-up. While in Co.Mayo, I emailed June at Dover DC to get any gossip. She replied that she was leaving (she had been there longer than me!) to work in Sandwich. So it was that one day during the Summer I met her in the Sandwich COOP by chance and that led, eventually, to meeting up with others from DDC.

June and July were a bit of a blur. It was now two years since Barbara had died and I sensed the weight of grieving had finally lifted. I visited her grave on the anniversary of her death and nothing had changed. I also visited Doris, who was now completely flat-bound due to leg ulcers. As the management were taking down the mobility scooter shed I took her scooter away with me to store at the cottage. I had an appointment about my nose at the local hospital where a basal cell carcinoma was diagnosed and the consultant said I would need an operation to remove it and that might require cheek flap surgery. The bad news was that his list was full and I wouldn't hear anything for 6 months to a year. I became quite depressed and threw myself into gardening and painting.  There was also a hangover from Ireland to resolve. Unrealised by me, Pauline had inadvertently made Pamela uncomfortable as Pauline was still learning about TG sensitivities and had clearly 'put her foot in it'. The friendship between Pamela and Nikki is matched, if not exceeded by the friendship I, as Nick, have for Peter - something exceedingly rare for me. Understanding the issue, we agreed to visit again in December ... which was rapidly changed for a Christmas visit.

The weather was generally good and I started another cull of dresses. It was difficult to believe just how many apricots I was going to harvest and, despite being abandoned for several years, both the gooseberries and blackcurrants were prolific. Then there were the tomatoes ... masses of them. By August my painting had changed, I seemed to know what I was doing! I was pleased with my Artichoke.
I bought an ice cream maker and started with apricot ice cream before moving on to rosemary (delicious) and blackberry (the blackberries came early this year). In between we were organising 'Pauline's Trip' back to Offenbach.

We decided not to try anything else but a gentle drive, stopping at Aachen and Bad Nauheim. On 2nd September we headed off.

We really like Bad Nauheim. We were last there when Pauline was on a 'kur'. It was there (I think) that we were able to buy some Jugendstil prints that we still have. The weather was perfect, both there and at Offenbach where we stayed at the Hansa, the hotel we stayed in when Pauline had her interview at KWU in 1977. While at Offenbach we had dinner with one of Pauline's old colleagues before heading off to Mainz via Darmstadt where we wanted to see more Jugendstil architecture (and the Russian Orthodox Chapel): 

Staying at Mainz we had a Greek meal and the next day met other friends for a visit to the local winefest on a rather damp day. We then headed off to Dinant on the Meuse for a night before a final stop at the Dunkerque Auchan and home.

I was due to start two adult ed courses that week - Drawing, and Watercolour Improvers but the Drawing was cancelled. The Watercolour course was run by the tutor who had taken my first course but was in Sandwich, not Dover, and there were only four of us. So September quickly passed as did October. I did take quite a few photos but a considerable amount of time was taken up trying to 'cure' my laptop that had suffered corruption during a windows update. In the end it was so frustrating that I bought a new laptop before we headed off to the west country in November.

November was a little similar to our March trip. We stopped for the weekend and spent time with old friends in Dorset before setting off to see the N Devon coast, stopping at Barnstaple, and seeing some more 'three hares' before arriving at Truro. After a few days there we headed over to Dartmoor via Bodmin, particularly the area near the Minions. The weather was atrocious and we had already picked up colds in Dorset. Nevertheless, Parke was very good. We had a good dressed day out, despite the very cold weather. Combestsone Tor and theWest Dart at Hexworthy were revisited.

We then headed towards Bellever, stopping en route for a picture in the open. At Bellever we revisited the stopping place where I had been to on my first trip. The car played up on the way home ... ESP messages, which we had first experienced in January coming back from Ireland. The garage had replaced a couple of sensors in the turbo which seemed to solve that problem, but the warning light came on immediately I picked up the car! The garage are very good and immediately ran a diagnostic test (normally £50) for free and identified a new problem that the faulty sensors had been hiding - a new injection system was needed. All told, solving the problems cost about £850. (And I thought I'd been managing my pension so well, but the car is 'old' in modern terms!)

No long after we got back we were packing up for another visit to Brighton. This time it was to see Van Morrison. I was a little uncertain about it as I had seen him in the late '70's when he walked off before his set ended but he and the band he had assembled were superb, playing a mix of old and new with Gloria as the finale (after he had left). We agreed it was a better evening out than when we saw Joan Baez. By now we were into early December with two weeks to go before heading off to Ireland, again!

So Much Time ... January to June 2019

[It is now April, the early Spring is passing and soon Ireland will beckon again. But there's January, February and March to write about first! That's as far as I got with this post ... and it's now a year later!]

January:  the HR department at Dover had been very poor at forwarding information to Kent Pensions, and I ended up having to wait until March for my works pension. That took a toll on my cash reserves. I can't recall the weather but I do recall indulging in staying in bed late and generally being lazy! The impact of the previous year's work on the local landscape characterisation of the district was taking its toll, however. My eyes were in a poor state and I felt rather detatched from eveything. Curiously, the moment I left work I never thought about the project - it was done and whether it was ever used was not my concern; I had delivered what I could for the benefit of people of the district and earned my rest.

I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I had started doing a 'bit of art'.  Part of the cruel nightmare of Barbara's death was that of all her things, it was only her watercolour paints and papers that I could ask her daughter Lisa for. It was these, together with visits from Tom, an accomplished artist and the one remaining dresser that Barbara was content to have at her flat, that triggered some daubs by me. I knew I must throw myself into something the moment I retired and so enrolled on a watercolour course that started in January. I had no idea what I was getting into but it was interesting. The course was due to run through to May and with our travels, I had to cut it short. Having many years of academic study under my belt, it felt only natural to then enroll on a more advanced course in the Autumn as I wasn't going to stand still and just keep at a beginner's/improver's level which it seemed a number of other students were happy to do. But that's jumping ahead.

February: Pamela and I were now in the habit of speaking weekly and when I said to her being retired was boring (well, it was the start of the worst month of the year) she invited me over to Dundalk for a few days. I accepted and flew with FlyBe from Southend, hiring a car at Dublin which Pamela generously shared the cost of. It was a good break ... we were able to share our 'lost youth' moments and had several days out including

      Warrenpoint  and Newry

I had a whole morning in the NGI which was wonderful. There was, of course, 'The Marriage of Strongbow and Aoife' which we had seen on our first trip and I again saw in an empty gallery.

I was lucky enough to be there when the tragically romantic pre-raphaelite ‘Hellelil and Hildebrand, the Meeting on the Turret Stairs’ was lit for viewing.

 

And I was enthralled at Caravaggio's 'The Taking of Christ' (detail above)

It was, of course, all too short a trip, but we would both be returning in May.

A week after returning from Ireland Pauline and I went off to Brighton for the weekend to see Joan Baez on her farewell tour. My previous visits to Brighton came in useful (seeing KD Lang with Barbara - one of several visits) as we ate at Al Duomo on the way to the Dome. In the morning we wandered around the Lanes before heading back along the coast.

March: the early days passed with me dressing and painting. Pauline was coming over more frequently. I started some planting in the greenhouse - the garden has been so neglected over the years and the sheds just used as dumping ground.  The results of my painting were varied, but I could see some potential. Late in March, Pauline and I went off to Dartmoor and Cornwall. We stopped overnight in Dorset and had dinner with old friends before stopping by Stourhead and heading to Truro to stay with my sister for a few days. We then set off for Dartmoor, staying at Parke which was as enjoyable as ever. We had set a goal of 'three hares' in Devon churches as this meant that we could get around and see places at a pace to suit Pauline, although she also managed two quite long walks. We also had a day out with Nikki, which was really nice.

We started off doing the moorland pictures at Combestone Tor which has very convenient parking but which is not as popular as the area around Haytor.

We then went down to Hexworthy and took some photos by the West Dart River. I changed there into more appropriate modern day clothing and we continued our quest for the three hares.

  

That took care of March and April was spent getting everything ready for our trip to Ireland. By this time I was organised enough to get a battery powered irrigation system for the greenhouse to keep the young tomato plants growing during our absence. The weather was fine most of the time and I managed a swimsuit photo on the 17th:

May: We spent three weeks in Ireland in May, 'topping and tailing' stays in Carron, Co. Clare and Newport, Co. Mayo with Pamela and Mary in Dundalk. Before then, however, I had to alert my neighbour to the fact that the cattle were stripping the bark of the lime tree in the field ... only to find out he was in Connemara!

Staying with Pamela and Mary is a tremendous pleasure - they are wonderfully relaxed hosts, but say there's nothing to see around Dundalk. On the first day we headed north to Hillsborough Castle, the Queen's official residence in Northern Ireland that had recently be re-opened after refurbishment.

Following that we visited the Battle of the Boyne site at Oldbridge House.










We weren't dressed for either visit as we had no idea what to expect and certainly the security at Hillsborough was quite daunting despite the staff being friendly and polite.

It was then time to head west.

It was our second stay at Limestone Cottage in Carron and just as pleasing as the first. We stopped on the way at Kilmacduagh Monastery near Gort which we thought would be a good place to return to for some Nikki photos. As it was we ran out of time and that'll have to wait for our next visit. The west coast of Clare continues to entrance us. Nikki had just the one day out, visiting Corcomroe Abbey and driving to Bell Harbour and then the Fahee Ridge:

 

Back at the cottage I changed into a dress:

 

Pauline was becoming increasingly relaxed with me dressing and even suggested some of the location shots when we drove around. I had a couple of days for a walk and one was took me up Mullaghmore:

The main features that were coming to the fore with me, aside from the dressing, were an increased intensity in landscape photos and re-invigorated botanising (such that I submitted several finds to Biodiversity Ireland). After a week of great weather we headed north to Newport in Co. Mayo. We had been told Westport was a place to visit but we found it too frenetic for us whereas Newport was much more to our taste. I didn't dress in the second week as we were far too busy touring and indulging in landscapes. The trip to the Ballycroy National Park Visitor Centre has to stand out simply because the girl at the centre was so helpful in directing us where to find the remains of pine trees emerging from thousands of years of bog; a find of St Daboec's Heath (Daboecia cantabrica) and the most powerful image of the whole trip, the view towards Nephin Beg:

 

Co. Mayo did well competing with Co. Clare for our hearts and on getting back to the UK we booked a further two weeks for Spring 2020. Even the town of Newport had something special to offer - the church featured Harry Clarke stained glass. We then headed back to Dundalk for a few more days with Pamela and Mary.

We stayed in on our first day and had failed attempts at an intereview. The next day was very wet and three of us went to Armagh to visit the observatory and while there we also called in at St Patrick's Catholic Cathedral. The observatory was full of kids. The cathedral is prominently located and although the original St Patrick's (now Church of Ireland)  Cathedral is also sited on a hill, it appeared in the rain to be rather subdued. it was only reading about it later that, in historical terms, it would have been well worth visiting. The weather had improved the next day and as Pamela had to work, P and I went off to the Mournes to get a further impression of Co. Down. In the evening we went to Blackrock for a meal: 

Finally,  it was time to leave - another all too short a visit.

On The Scrapheap ...

It used to be that people would refer to themselves as being on the scrapheap upon retirement. I am now, officially, into day 3 and sense no creeping rust.

I am currently reading several books in rotation - Pamela gave me the Essential Guide to the National Gallery of Ireland (NGI) for my 70th and I am lining up the paintings I want to see when next I am in Dublin! Pauline gave me the New Naturalist 'The Burren', published just weeks before my birthday and that is shaping this May's trip there. Then for Christmas, P gave me 'Ireland's Green Larder', a history of the country through its food and 'The Immortal Yew', a tree that has fascinated me for years and ex-colleagues hope I shall write something about the yews of Dover. I can't leave this list without mentioning Pamela's Christmas gifts to me, which knocked me out - the history of the NGI and the restoration of the painting - The Marriage of Strongbow and Aoife, which first took me to the NGI.

This loops neatly back to my retirement and a most happy Christmas in Ireland.

The last few days at work were spent clearing old files etc., then on 30 November I went in for my last day. My colleague June had done what she loves doing - plenty of decorations etc. The leaving was pleasant and I was rather touched that RW and JI spent some time chatting - they were both good people to work with and R recalled how we first worked together on the Kingsdown sea defences back in '97. We then went off for a decent lunch in Deal and with a momentary twinge of regret I drove away. My official leaving was not until 1st January 2019, but with taking leave due, I was a free agent, although with just 3 weeks to go before Ireland and much to do, things were a bit of a blur.

The trip to Dundalk on the 20th was easy and, surprisingly, it was Pamela who welcomed us - she had switched work days and went in the following day. Dinner was from the Roma, followed by a visit to Kennedy's and our first lock-in. We had not been successful in the Newgrange draw and given the weather forecast decided to give that a miss which was fine as the weather there was, reportedly, dreadful! In the evening we went to the Crowne Plaza to eat.

On the 22nd we went to Newry and Warrenpoint, both of which we enjoyed and we were particularly taken with Warrenpoint which gave us further ideas about future moves. Until now neither Pamela or I had dressed but on the 23rd we went with M to Ravensdale for photos and an unfortunate, but harmless, accident when a beam on the bridge crumbled. My leg was a bit mucky, so we returned to the house and changed before going off to Blackrock for even more pictures! We ate in and then we went out to the pub - Kennedy's was very busy and we went down to The Jockeys which was almost empty!

We still had presents to get and on the 24th went to Drogheda for a bustling but very pleasant time, ending up in a nice cafe in the town centre. Food from the Roma had been organised that evening. We stayed in that evening as the ham was being cooked.

On Christmas Day we dressed. I interviewed Pamela, not very well, and then we took snaps by the tree and outside. Pamela wanted to change to help Mary and that seemed the right time for me as well as I find too many changes unsettling. We had a really nice and straightforward dinner and a thoroughly enjoyable evening.

For St Stephen's Day I wore my black dress and then had another enjoyable dinner before returning to The Jockeys. On the morning of the 27th, while Pauline got ready, I took Pamela out for some pictures around Dundalk. Some of those worked and she posted two on flickr. Then it was time to say farewell before we headed to Dublin Port. We stayed at the Travelodge in Holyhead before heading back to Kent on the 28th.

The Emptying Shelves

I read, but the bulk of my 'library' is of reference works. Now, with 'retirement' upon me I am clearing my shelves of work-related publications that are no longer of use and mainly out-dated as well! I love the word 'catharsis'. It gives the short-lived illusion of a cleansing and a fresh start. But life is a continuum - it has a start and an end and between that there is simply re-arranging ... possibly deckchairs?

As I was going through one bookcase I came across a collection of old books that I may, or may not, have read. They were given to me for Christmas 1961 and reflect the curious education my mother was setting for me: Quo Vadis, by Henrik Sienkiewicz (definitely not read), Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, together with the Weir of Hermiston by RL Stevenson, White Fang by Jack London and Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens. But where was Jane Austen? Where were the  Brontës? But, I have kept them to read, or re-read, and so they stay.

November, Come She Will

After returning from the trip, October flew by, and calculating my remaining work hours, my last 'work' day will be 30th November. That will just consist of emptying the remaining things from my desk in the morning before I am presented with 'something' and then go to lunch with the rest of the team. Then it'll be home and apart from a meeting I promised to attend in Ashford in December, I'll have completely finished. At that time I shall clear my computer of of work-related files. Nominally, I do not leave until 1st January, so I suppose there may be a panic, or even a Christmas lunch, but I think not. The interest in moving to Ireland grows, but that is complex as P must keep a base in the UK, for health and family's sake.

It was the Dorset friends get-together on the weekend of the 10th/11th and although I haven't been for many years, P understood me still not wanting to go as it is so close to B's birthday. P took her time going there, leaving on Thursday and coming back via her brother's on Tuesday. On the 9th I went to the cemetery and laid flowers on B's grave. B's ashes have been interred there now for 14 months.but there is still no headstone or any marker. Strangely, the same Kate Wolf track - Shadow of a Life - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8B1hFEthNs came on when I left the cemetery as had played when I left after the funeral. I couldn't phone Doris, Barbara's neighbour and friend at the flats, because she would have asked about the state of the grave and I wanted the day to be peaceful remembrance. I found the dress that B had bought me a Christmas present and decided I would wear it on the 11th as personal remembrance on a day of national remembrance. And it was fine. I still get tearful when I re-read my blog of her death, but that's fine, as well.

And the time moves on ... part 4

For our intermediate stop in Germany we were going to stay at the Sontheimer Wirtshäusle near Heidenheim. This was a last minute booking that P managed to get. It sounded like the place we would enjoy - plenty of schinken, brot und bier. Sadly, that was not to be. The first problem was working out where Sontheim was, even with the satnav, as the directions were vague. Then we had to drive through Heidenheim, a surprisingly large town, in the rush hour. It was only as we arrived that I realised it was the home of Steiff teddybears and even had a museum. We eventually found our lodgings, only to find it locked and a message to phone the owner. P did that and we got in via a coded key safe. What wasn't clear was which bedroom we were in and we managed to walk in on an elderly couple who were quite surprised. Then we cottoned on that the key safe number was also the number of our room. All was fine and we went down to dinner. The food was limited, eclectic and rather pricey – we both had a goat stew at €25 a head, served with just a bowl of plain rice! But we slept well and the breakfast was fine.The journey the next day was to be under 3 hours so we kept off the autobahns to begin. We went by Rothenburg ob der Tauber which is a most attractive town, but it was far busier than I recalled and we didn't stop. Then when we arrived at Wertheim we met huge traffic jams in every direction except that which we were going in. This was because there is a Wertheim Shopping Village and we were travelling on a public holiday - German Unity Day. Travelling on the autobahn was easy as no goods traffic was allowed, but it meant that every rest stop was packed with trucks. We found the money-themed Ibis at Offenbach and settled in.

Money-laundering at the Ibis

In the evening we went to what had been our favourite Greek restaurant, Mykonos, which was still there and still provided huge amounts of very good food at an attractive price. The next day we revisited the town we had lived in for 8 years did some shopping in Kaufhof, then P took some cash from her bank.

Nordring 8, Offenbach

We then drove to Heustenstamm and met A who used to work with P. She is very unwell but we had a pleasant early dinner at the Alt Bahnhof - traditional schnitzel with pfifferlinge. The next day we headed to the Rheingau and the Wispertal. I got myself lost and was then disappointed to find my favourite stop along the Wispertal was now no longer used, so there was no opportunity to retrace, even for a small way, a favourite walk. We then travelled along the Rhine, bought Asbach Uralt at the distillery at Rüdesheim and headed off to Mainz and our shoebox room in an Ibis there. We met A#2 who also used to work with P and had a really nice evening, starting with a walk around Mainz centre and a glass of federweißer (fermenting grape juice), which we had not encountered before, and then a meal at the Heliggeist, a converted 13th C monastery. The next day after driving through the pedestrian centre (oops!) of Mainz we took a slow drive across the Hünsruck to our last German stop at Züsch to stay with J and W. Eating out, we had an Italian meal in a nearby village. The next day we left in the afternoon and drove to Namur and the Casino!

The Citadel and River Meuse, Namur

The river Meuse in Namur was charming and the Casino faced it. The hotel was separate but used the same entrance and harked back to grander days - our room was huge and overlooked the river. We took a drive up to the citadel and that was very impressive. We decided to eat in the Casino/Hotel and had boulets à la Liégeoise (meatballs) which were very good ... better than Swedish meatballs à la Ikea! The breakfast was expensive but the food was delicious - the croissants were gorgeous, large and buttery. We then drove gently to the Dunkerque Auchan to load up on wine (some at only €2.10 a bottle!) before getting the ferry and arriving home about 8pm.

Apart from difficulties with the driving (caused by me, by P, by an old satnav and lack of useable maps) the trip was a success all round and our relationship is well on its way to being re-forged. It was expensive, but that is really only because hotel prices are much the same across this part of Europe. We have even thought about a trip for next year - across Germany to the Harz and, possibly, Berlin. We really liked Bobbio and it would be nice to spend more time in 'Italian' Italy, but apart from the villa and the places we already knew, France did not match my expectations from 20 years ago.

P managed very well with the Parkinson's and I think we could stretch travel days a bit further, to reduce costs. Although she thinks dressing is weird (and is right) I think meeting with P and M in Ireland has really helped her change her approach. Time will tell but we are both really looking forward to the next Irish adventure at Christmas and we have also booked a week at where I stay on Dartmoor for the Spring which we can combine with a visit to my sister's in Truro.

And the time moves on ... part 3

The autostrada bridge collapse in Genoa earlier this year had necessitated a change of plan, but fortuitously I had been reading and watching 'The History of Ireland' and was aware of the role of St Columbanus, who set up a monastery in Bobbio and we had managed to book two nights in the Piacentino in Bobbio itself. As we left France, P told me that I needed to have dipped headlamps on while driving in Italy, but I found the tft screen unreadable which was a problem (and the driver's handbook didn't help; it was only back in the UK that I found the screen brightness adjustment wheel!), so keeping to the speed limit was tricky. It was a bit of struggle getting to Bobbio once we left the autostrada as the signs were not helpful and the only map I had was too small scale to be much help in understanding the size of towns. We finally started crossing Monte Penice near Bobbio and found ourselves amongst dozens of motorcyclists and when we arrived at the town square where the hotel was, it was full of motorcycles. We only found out later that St Columbanus is considered by some to be the patron saint of motorcyclists!

Ponte Vecchio with the Cathedral beyond

The hotel was fine 'though and we were able to leave the car in an enclosed courtyard. The owners did not speak English and Pauline found her Italian was not really good enough yet, but French was a good compromise.The hotel room was nice and old-fashioned and the food was really tasty without being pretentious - just what we had been hoping for but not had earlier in the trip. A local speciality, maccheroni alla bobbiense, is a fond memory. We also had coppa, which reminded us of Corsica. The town itself is charming, from the Ponte Vecchio to the Cathedral and the Abbey. We spent a very pleasant Sunday in the town and could have stayed on, except the South Tyrol called and on Monday morning we left after posting cards.

The basilica of San Colombano

We had the first rain on the way to San Leonardo in Passiria and were running a little short on fuel as we started climbing towards the Jaufen Pass and found the hotel Jägerhof. The South Tyrol is one of the wealthiest regions in the whole EU. It is very picturesque and almost exclusively German speaking, which was no help to P wanting to practice her beginner's Italian! While I slept after the drive P experienced a 'wellness' session which is very popular in the region.

The Jaufen Pass, looking West

Although the hotel was very nice, I did have digestion problems the following day which we put down to my, possibly over-adventurous, choice of  calves head and spinach strudel as a starter the night before. P later also had a stomach upset and that continued for a couple of days, so it was more likely to have been an infective gastroenteritis bug. We had travelled from 20+C to 0C and that may have also had an effect. The next morning, running low on fuel, we were just before the Brenner Pass services when for some unknown reason P directed me off the autostrada. We were able to get back and found fuel just over the border in Austria. Having previously refueled at Vaison La Romaine, we had driven something like 900 Km on a single tank. Austria came and went as we were heading towards Ulm in Germany. That is in part 4.

And the time moves on ... part 2

So June, July and August came and went. My Irish passport arrived, the bees continued to exclude me from part of the garden and the fruit harvest, except for the apricots, was looking quite poor with the hot dry weather. An ache in my right leg which had been annoying me since Christmas continued and I started having problems with my eyes watering ... the joys of ageing. Once the work project had been completed, time flew by to September and 'The Grand Tour'.

I won't recall the endless rows we had about navigation but we have agreed our joint Christmas present this year will be a new whole-Europe satnav with free uploads for life and I'm going update my detailed country atlases as well, as I like to choose my routes, not be told where to go by some computer system, no matter how clever it is. Apart from that, the trip down was reasonably ok, but the food was not great. In Arc-en-Barrois we stayed at the Hotel le Parc, full of stuffed stags heads and skulls! The hotel was quintessentially  'Logis' style, but the food was disappointing, especially the game dish we had. Curiously, as we left the following morning P spotted a restaurant with an LGBT flag flying outside it which she thought might have been more interesting! The second night was at Mas d'Helene near Vaison la Romaine which was rather femininely, florally, pretentious. The meal was tasty but curiously unmemorable. We saw the 'Brake' van arrive the following morning. Brake Bros is a commercial catering firm started in Ashford and it provides bars and restaurants with 'instant' meals and also operates in France. I found the uninteresting food frustrating, which is something for another post, possibly. We had a nightmare drive revisiting Mont Ventoux on the Saturday due to the number of cyclists as there was a Dutch cycling competition going on. While I have every admiration for cyclists tackling such a tough route, the sheer numbers made driving conditions very difficult. After shopping in Draguignan, a military town, we arrived in Seillans late afternoon but found it really hard finding the villa as a Swiss neighbour had 'privatised' the road with signs etc. It was only on reading the villa information after we had settled in that we discovered he had no right to do such and was to be ignored! But nothing mattered, the villa was near-enough perfect for us. All the plans for me to go off walking came to nothing, as lazing by the pool and just unwinding from the work was all that was needed.

On Sunday afternoon P decided to walk into the village and get us pizzas and I said I would use the opportunity to take some Nikki in swimdress photos. That turned out to be quite traumatic as although the villa was mostly hidden on a quiet lane, a French couple insisted on attracting my attention.

The 'flight or fight' response kicked in and, perhaps after being out and about in Ireland, I decided to confront the couple. There was no way I could 'pass', so taking the bull by the horns I approached the woman and pleasantly said I was transgender as a form of explanation for the apparition I must have presented! All was smiles and they went on their way (we discussed it afterwards and concluded they were the same people P had met and they were trying to find an address ... well they found a man in a dress, instead! P was quite concerned for me when I told her. If anything, that broke the ice and three times after that I dressed and swam and posed while P was there and she didn't turn a hair; neither did the red squirrels that kept raiding the walnut tree in the garden.

 We spent most of the time eating in and just relaxing, but did have one long day out, revisiting Bargeme, where we had stayed in the late '80s and the Grand Canyon du Verdon, which we first saw in 1972. On the way back we drove along the south side of the Canjuers military base, which was one of those curious 'Indian country' places. It was only later that I read this must be where Posh and Becks had had an estate!
We had pizza again during the week before splashing out for a final meal at La Gloire de Mon Papa, which was recommended, and yet ... it wasn't that great and was expensive. The pizzas were the better value. On the Saturday we left for Italy ... in part 3!

And the time moves on ... part 1

I found a draft of a short note from February which I have now published (in November!) Trying to catch up is fiddly, so what follows are the thoughts as they come to me as I write, rather than a consecutive diary.

Time does move on. I haven't been in touch with my acquaintance in Suffolk. She was probably mentioned in my other blog - she is post-op TS in her late 70's, highly intelligent but also self-absorbed. Although she was supportive last year, her lifestyle and mine are quite different and I need to follow my instincts and much has happened. I ought to add that she leaves it up to me to make contact which, to my mind, suggests she is not wanting for interests!

Early in the year P was responding well to her Parkinson's medication and looking forward to the trip to Ireland. I was increasing my self-imposed workload to try and finish the characterisation of the Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty in the district. Thinking back on that always triggers the memory of last year when I accompanied a consultant to look at the landscape near the coast and the memory is particularly strong just now as yesterday would have been Barbara's birthday:

[I had stayed over at Barbara's the night before and met the consultant near Folkestone in the morning. We had an excellent day out - it is very rare for me to be able to discuss 'landscape' at length with another professional. Afterwards I dropped her back at the pub near Ashford she was staying. She suggested we have meal and carry on chatting but however much the idea appealed, and it did, something told me to decline the offer and go and visit Barbara (I had intended going straight home that night). The shock of seeing Barbara's condition after such a good day was quite traumatising - she was pale, clammy and in a panic ("Where had I been?"). I called an ambulance and the paramedic who arrived thought she may have had a mild heart attack. (Barbara, as was her wont had not used her alarm button to summon help earlier). B was taken to hospital and we spent several hours in resus. That was the Thursday. The hospital treated Barbara with antibiotics but she did not respond. The drugs were continued through the weekend, but Barbara was fading. Medication was ceased late Monday. I stayed with her until 8pm on Tuesday evening, when exhaustion took over and I went home. I had the call from the hospital at 6am on the Wednesday morning.

I guess that association with the landscape will be with me until my end.]

Poulnabrone Portal Tomb

Back to Ireland: P was uncertain how far she could travel in any one day, so we arranged to travel slowly to Carran, stopping at Swansea and then Waterford after the ferry from 'Fishguard' (actually Goodwick, a nice little port). We ate at a French restaurant in Waterford, and the next morning I was too ill to have breakfast. We still think it was more likely to have been caused by the buffet breakfast at the Swansea Ibis than anything else. It didn't matter ... Ireland was already casting its spell on us and by the time we arrived at the Burren, I was falling in love! The woman who owned the cottage was really friendly - it seems the cottage must have been the family home at one time, although she now lived in Dublin. We settled in immediately and went for a drive along the coast and past Poulnabrone which was deserted, so I managed to get lots of photos of it. Sunday, it rained for some of the day, but we got out and saw more and then we saw more on the Monday which was just cloudy and we also booked the ferry to Inisheer where I had already arranged an overnight stay. The weather the rest of the week was fine and the trip to Inisheer was fun. I only managed one day's walk during the week, but that reflected Pauline's good health and her wanting to do things!

On the Saturday we had a relaxed drive to Dundalk and found Pamela's quite easily. I managed, idiotically, to scratch the car but we settled in easily and it was a real pleasure to meet our hosts in person, especially Mary. Our stay was a bit of a blur (there was endless craic from start to finish) and I can't remember that much. In the evening we had a takeway from the famous Roma and then went round the corner to the local bar which was quite noisy (a major football match was on). It might have been later that evening we were introduced to Pamela's encyclopedic knowledge of television series from the 60's and 70's and settled into an episode of Randall and Hopkirk (deceased). We were treated to the full Irish breakfast on Sunday and then P, P and I went to Carlingford. It's a blur, but think we may have gone to the bar on the road to Blackrock in the evening. On Monday we dressed and had the sofa interview and, maybe, had another takeaway from the Roma. Tuesday was Dublin and I think that was the day Mary cooked a really tasty steak dinner for us while we were out. Pamela, in drab, was an excellent guide, but clearly the pain in her knee (which will need replacement) was severe. On Wednesday Pamela and I went to Blackrock and then Callan's for a 'dressed' meal in the evening. It was a stay with many highlights, but what stood out was just how easily we got on. On Thursday we had a fond farewell and then Pauline and I drove to Dún Laoghaire for our ferry which was actually waiting for us at Dublin Port! We missed it and caught the next one to Holyhead, arriving at midnight in the pouring rain. We ignored our booking at the Travelodge and drove back overnight, which was fine until just outside Dover when P decided to do some back-seat driving. After 6.5 hours behind the steering wheel I was not amused. The independence we each have gotten used to caused no issues between us, except who is driving when on the road! This was to be repeated on the later trip, but that's for Part 2 (and 3 and 4).


I'm not sure how long it took for me to book the cottage in Carran again for next May, but there was no hesitation in inviting Pamela and Mary to join us there. Back home, apart from going through photos of the trip, work became all-consuming. We had a heatwave this Summer and the benefit to me was that I didn't have to mow the grass, or do anything else in the garden. I had a deadline of end of August for the landscape work and in the last month that entailed working up to seven days a week. It was completed and is now onto the next stage - digitising and putting it on our website, but that's not for me. Probably, other things happened, I just don't recall them yet.
 

A Quick Update 10 February ... escape from the Winter Olympics!

I'm not used to writing my thoughts. Over the last few months, I've tried to put my thoughts down as they occur, rather than endlessly re-compose them until their meaning is lost, but I've also 'hung on' until the writing juices started to flow. I guess that's why I'm here, now ...

SAD came back during January, accompanied by miserable weather ... not proper Winter with snow and stuff, it was just cold, wet and windy and my unheated house is drafty. Pressures at work (of my own making!) continue, even though I'm meant only to be working two days a week. Pauline is lining up plenty of hospital appointments for her Parkinson's. I have been good ... apart from one dress, I've avoided all the inducements of online retailers, but the incentive to dress has also been low.

I'm still wondering where my TGism will lead. While I'm working I cannot see myself 'coming out' more, but I would like to experience more life in my preferred gender.

2017 Christmas Season Part 2 and into 2018

Boxing Day passed comfortably. I decided to dress quite demurely, which was fine - a Laura Ashley silk dress is something I could wear everyday!

My office was closed until the 2nd January, but I had a large report to read and comment on, so time was spent on that and looking around the sales for possible wigs and an update for my camera. The camera was easy to find and order, but looking at new wigs is a nightmare. I decided in the end that I need to get one fitted and that will mean a fair bit of travelling - something for the new year ... perhaps a trip to London, or Brighton.

On the 29th I was due to pick up the new camera (more pixies) at Ashford and do a major food shop. P was having blood tests in the morning at the local GP surgery and I suggested we could both go shopping which she was happy to do. Arriving at Ashford I realised we would be passing the cemetery on the way back past Wingham (for my favourite farm shop). I said I would like to stop at B's grave. That was fine. Then Kate Wolf’s 'Shadow of a Life' started playing as we drove into the cemetery – I had to switch it off. I laid flowers, had a few private moments, and then we left. Kate’s song started up again and I explained its resonance. I then put it into more context by referring to it coming on while driving home after B's funeral and reminded P that years ago when we drove up to London to my mother's funeral, the Lark Ascending came on and that's always had that association since then.

All was set for NYE. P would be coming over in the afternoon for a meal; I would be dressed. I had even selected what I would wear and then my eyes and nose started streaming as a cold came out. My make up wouldn't have stood a chance, so I left off dressing. P arrived and said she expected to see me ‘in my finery’ but understood why that was not happening. Anyway we had a very pleasant game stew.  I was in bed by 10.30 and saw the worldwide NY celebrations on the TV in the middle of the night. Monday was spent in and out of bed, struggling to get ready for work on Tuesday, 2nd Jan.

On Thursday 4th, I picked P up and we went to her neurological appointment. The consultant diagnosed Parkinson’s and said it had quite a rapid onset. P will now be transferred to the Parkinson’s team and the first visit will be by the specialist nurse. P will also have MRI and DAT scans. I was concerned that the medical 'news' would take a toll of P, but she took it in her stride. Now the hiatus of waiting for the consultation was over, I booked the Ireland ferry. We decided to have a second attempt at a 'dressed' NYE on the coming Sunday. That all went well. She does seem genuinely to accept my dressing and she also knows that my support for her would be there even if she could not tolerate it.